I am still learning how to pray.....

I realised with a terrible shock recently that I am now nearly 40 years old as a Christian – and that means that Jesus has been central to my life for a very long time, and certainly for most of my adult life.

You would think, wouldn’t you, that as prayer is our major form of contact with Jesus and our Father God, that this would be something I was quite expert at. After all not only have I had 40 years to practise, but we have God himself helping us to pray with his Holy Spirit.

The reality for me, though, is that there are long periods when prayer is something I ‘do’ rather than really experiencing not only God’s presence, but also hearing his voice, and growing in our relationship together. Oh yes, there are times when I am intensely aware God is present, when sometimes His voice has been so loud I could not ignore it – but these are less often than I would like. Most of the time I pray, hoping that God is hearing me, that he is bringing me closer to himself, that he is guiding what I am praying for....but not being sure whether prayer is going beyond the ceiling above me.

I have tried all sorts of formulas for this.....making sure I am quiet for a while (much more difficult with young children are around), searching my soul for ‘sinful ways’ so that I can confess them, and be ‘right’ to talk to God.....reading scripture to help, or reciting psalms and written prayers – but you know these formulas just don’t work much of the time.

The trouble is when it hasn’t worked for a while the temptation is to not bother. Despite the fact that Believing in and loving Jesus is central to my life, it is only too easy just to stop praying for a bit – to cut off communication – and that doesn’t help at all!

What we often forget is that there is a battle going on – a Spiritual battle which we enter into in earnest when we pray. God’s enemy, Satan, will do everything he can to prevent us praying – and the best method is often to persuade us it isn’t doing any good - that our prayers are not answered, we don’t see friends healed or colleagues come to Christ.

One of the ways of counteracting this I have found is to share in prayer with others. I may feel God is far away, but when I meet and pray with others that often changes and I feel closer to God. That in turn leads to a greater sense of God’s presence when I am praying alone. As Jesus said  ‘For, where two or three come together in my name, there I am with them.’ (Mat. 18:20).

Perhaps, though, I worry too much. When people know each other well they can go for long periods, working side by side but not actually talking. It doesn’t mean there is anything wrong – just that we have known each other long enough to know what the other is thinking.

It is far more important to have a constant openness to hearing Our father speak to us, whether it is in those quiet times, or through an event or sometimes in the mundane things of life, or in a time of prayer with others – to be constantly seeking to hear him, and be ready to do as He says, rather than worrying too much about what we feel or experience.

Prayer: Father, in this new year I want to thank you that you are a God who is near us when we pray – whether we feel it or not. Amen